Obama Speaks to Children in Congress, Adults in High School

This week, in a nationally televised event, President Barack Obama addressed children on the brink of adulthood, urging them to work hard, set goals, stay at it when things get tough, and assured them that one day they would be able to help solve the nation's challenges.

On the previous day, he gave a speech at Wakefield High School in suburban Virginia, which was televised to the nation's students.

Wakefield students were far more polite, respectful, and civilized in their treatment of the President of the United States than were many of the Republicans in his address to a Joint Session of Congress.

No student yelled at him, calling him a liar. Students didn't hold up signs and papers objecting to the points he was making. And none of the students booed him.

The same cannot be said of the Republicans posing as adults in the nation's capital.

Those Republicans chose to follow the lead of the sputtering ruffians who disrupted last month's town halls with angry threats and behavior that makes European soccer fans seem mild mannered. In the august setting of the United States Capitol, they showed the whole world their childishness (my apologies to actual children), their lack of ideas, and their refusal to work for solutions. They just don't know how to play nice.

The dwindling number of adults in the Republican Party can only hope that some day their colleagues will learn from the high school students, grow up, and at least act like they're civilized.

Maybe it's time for remedial kindergarten lessons for Republicans. Or take away their hall passes and send them to detention.

Originally posted at: HuffingtonPost.com/don-parker/

Republicans Demand Equal Access to Schoolchildren

Amid the uproar over President Obama's grand scheme to use subliminal brainwashing to mesmerize and indoctrinate America's schoolchildren into his cult of personality, Republicans today demanded equal access to young minds so they could counterbalance the president's dangerous message.

The RNC gained an advance copy of President Obama's speech in which he will urge students to work hard at school, do their homework, stay in school through graduation, and set goals for their work and their lives.

"We can't allow him to advance this insidious, socialist agenda," said a Republican House Member from Minnesota speaking to this reporter through thick glass and a peep hole from her asylum. She asked to remain nameless and added that House Minority Leader John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell are wrapped in an epic battle to be the messenger.

"We Republicans will make our stand in opposition to this Kenyan-born/illegal-alien/Manchurian-Candidate and save America's most precious resource," said the representative, holding her slit wrists together.

"The Republican message, of course, is to tell kids to not work hard, don't do your homework, don't stay in school, and don't set goals.

"Only then can we expect a new generation of Republican voters."

Originally posted at: HuffingtonPost.com/don-parker/

'Outlaw Mother's Milk' Says Drug Czar

[Author's note: this was originally posted at The Huffington Post. It has since popped up all over the 'net. And apparently many people don't understand satire, because many of the quotes I made up for the Drug Czar have been reprinted as if he actually said them. For the record, the words in the very first quote in the first paragraph are his actual words, as are the words in the last quote, in the penultimate paragraph. The others come from my twisted sense of humor. --Don]

After declaring on Wednesday in Fresno that "marijuana is dangerous and has no medicinal benefit," Gil Kerlikowske, director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy said the next target will be "the biggest gateway drug of all, mother's milk."

While ramping up efforts to ensure that no human suffering can be relieved by doctors prescribing marijuana, Kerlikowske said his office will soon begin two new initiatives: first, to outlaw breast feeding and baby formula; and then a campaign to urge teenagers to avoid marijuana by increasing their use of alcohol and tobacco.

"It is the strong belief of the current White House Office that the Bush Administration's opposition to so-called science was well founded." Kerlikowske said. "We will soon publish evidence that gravity is a myth, water runs uphill, and hot air doesn't rise.

"We're also reexamining dubious and ridiculous claims that the earth allegedly revolves around the sun," said Kerlikowske, known affectionately as the Drug Czar. "And, contrary to popular opinion and centuries of scientific evidence, we know the earth is flat.

"Furthermore, the moisture some call 'rainfall' is actually God's tears."

A reporter pointed out to the Drug Dictator that marijuana has been found to have many medicinal uses by the Institute of Medicine, American Nurses Association, American Public Health Association, American Academy of HIV Medicine, Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Lymphoma Foundation of America, and numerous other medical and scientific research organizations.

"Poppycock and balderdash," Kerlikowske sputtered.

"Who are you going to believe? Me, a lifetime cop, or a bunch of wimpy doctors and nurses and pantywaist scientists in frilly white lab coats?" asked Kerlikowske, who was the Seattle Police Chief before being named as Drug Despot by the president.

"All patriotic, red-blooded Americans should ignore the medical research of the federal government and the private sector."

Asked why the Drug Tyrant would recommend teenagers should use more alcohol and tobacco, Kerlikowske said he believes marijuana must be stamped out at any cost.

"Yes, it's true that each year hundreds of thousands of Americans die from using alcohol and tobacco and no one has ever died of an overdose of marijuana," Kerlikowske said. "But if you factor out drunk driving auto accidents, hardly any of those dying from alcohol and tobacco are teenagers. It's mostly middle-aged and older people. And hell, they were going to die eventually anyway.

"And yes, we will propose legislation to outlaw breast feeding and baby formula. Mother's milk and formula are both gateway drugs. It's been proven that almost all heroin, cocaine, and crystal meth addicts started out on either mother's milk or formula as babies. Formula is the methadone of baby nutrition."

Asked about widespread efforts in many states to legalize or decriminalize marijuana and to tax it, Kerlikowske told a reporter from the Fresno Bee, "Legalization is not in the president's vocabulary, and it's not in mine."

Kerlikowske added that other words not in his vocabulary include compassion, pain and suffering, the scientific method, and evidence.

Auto-Tune the News

These fun videos are from the Gregory Brothers via the "Rachel Maddow Show."

Auto-Tune the News: Obama Flashback




Miss California! Gay Marriage! Weed! Auto-Tune the News!

Early Susan Boyle Recording: "Cry Me a River" (1999)

Like millions of people around the world, including Simon Cowell, I was stunned and inspired by Susan Boyle's performance on Britain's Got Talent. She talks like my Scottish grandmother and sings like an angel.

Now we can hear an earlier, jazzier Boyle. According to The Daily Record, a Scottish newspaper, she sang this version of "Cry Me a River" for a charity CD in 1999. The Daily Record also reports that Menagerie Entertainment, an American company run by a Scot, has offered her a recording contract in the United States. She said it's too early for that and she wants to take "baby steps."

I've often wondered what the world was like for artists -- actors, dancers, singers, writers, directors -- before the 20th century brought movies, radio, and television. Each town or village had their own performing artists or ones who traveled from nearby towns. Many more people found acclaim even if only in a smaller realm. But mass entertainment makes huge celebrities of a few and relegates many others, often just as talented, to lesser notice.

Susan Boyle, and Paul Potts before her in the 2006 Britain's Got Talent, remind us that talented people are everywhere. And I hope they inspire many of us to take the plunge and put ourselves out there with whatever talents we've hidden or let wither.

When I win the Pulitzer Prize and later the Nobel Prize for Literature, I'll thank Susan Boyle in my acceptance speeches.

Until her first album comes out, which Cowell has already predicted will be number one in America, we can enjoy this earlier recording.

Perfected: The Ann Coulter Song

After seeing that she had been fooled on April Fools Day (see below), I was reminded again that the ever gracious Ann Coulter only wants for each of us to be like her ... perfected. Here's a tribute from Barely Political to that search for perfection, featuring singer/songwriter Leah Kaufmann, who was also the voice behind "I Got a Crush on Obama." (And yes, for those of you who saw this a long time ago, I'm painfully behind the times, but I still think it's great.)

Media Matters - April Fools: Ann Coulter falls for fake Obama NASCAR story

Source: mediamatters.org

Ann Coulter fell for a fake April Fools' Day article by Car and Driver that claimed President Obama ordered GM and Chrysler to cease their participation in NASCAR because it is an "unnecessary expenditure."

Her Morning Elegance

My favorite video of late, from Oren Lavie. I discovered this ... just after waking from a series of delicious dreams ... at a lovely blogsite: Life at Willow Manor. Willow discovered it via another beautiful site: The Clever Pup. So thanks Oren, Willow, and Clever Pup. All three are well worth spending time with.

Now, join the nearly four million people who have viewed this video. And read the lyrics below.



Her Morning Elegance
by Oren Lavie

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasantly strange
And counting the change
And She goes...
Nobody knows