Monday, February 16, 2009

Aerosmith, Rep. Cantor, Hookers, and Hypocrisy

After Rep. Eric Cantor, the House Republican Whip, released an ad touting the Republican "victory" over the Democrats in the battle over the stimulus legislation, Aerosmith sent Cantor the following letter thanking him for promoting "Back in the Saddle," their song about hookers in a saloon town:

Dear Rep. Cantor,

Thanks for promoting our song about the hooker Sukie Jones. You and Sukie are made for each other. You've moved up from being the Chief Deputy Whip to Republican Whip in the 111th Congress. And her speciality is whipping bad boys like you.

Yeah, you and your Republican friends outflanked the Democrats in the stimulus battle. You showed them what a real stimulus plan should be about, didn't you, Mr. Republican Whip? Hookers, right?

I'm back
I'm back in the saddle again
Ridin' into town alone
By the light of the moon
I'm looking for ole' Sukie Jones
She crazy horse saloon
Barkeep gimme a drink

You left no doubt where your mind is when you picked our song. Maybe your constituents can't hear the words. But we know you like any song about a saddle-sore cowpoke riding into a saloon town of soakin' wet girls to get some time in the rack with his four-bit hooker.

Umm...come easy, go easy
Alright 'til the rising sun
I'm calling all the shots tonight
I'm like a loaded gun
Peelin' off my boots and chaps
I'm saddle sore
Four bits gets you time in the racks
I scream for more

Fools' gold out of their mines
The girls are soaking wet
No tongue's drier than mine
I'll come when I get back

And, we bet we're not the only ones who thought it was funny when your staff sent out the old AFSCME ad with the bogus sound track full of obscenities. Pretty funny. You, the bastion of conservatism who always defends America against swear words. I bet your constituents in the Bible Belt got the joke.

Hope you don't bleep all the good parts in our song when you find out what we're singing about. But, hey, you won't. That was your point, right?

I'm back in the saddle again
I'm riding, I'm loading up my pistol
I'm riding, I really got a fistful
I'm riding, I'm shining up my saddle
I'm riding, this snake is gonna rattle

Of course, we almost forgot. Your friend, Sen. David Vitter, has probably introduced you to ol' Sukie. He knows all the hookers from New Orleans to Washington.

And just imagine what you and Vitter get into on your foreign junkets. (Junkets? Where do you guys come up with these words?) I bet the taxpayers are glad to pay for all that. You guys need a break now and then.

You're known for going on the House floor to rail against swear words and how they're destroying America. But with Sukie, you can say all the bleeped words from the ads you and your staff promote. She'll spank your skinny butt every time you yell one. She'll even dress like your mother if you like that better than her leather boots and metal-studded pants suit. Or ... is that what your mom wore, too?

So, get back in the saddle again, Mr. Whip. And beg Sukie to whip you. Harder. Make it hurt. You're a bad boy, Eric.

Your buddies,


  1. another brilliant 'commentary' by parker... but looks like some commercial interest took the vid link away.... off to youtube to search for it, am sure I can find it via keywords.

  2. for inquiring mice here's the unofficial version which I don't know if it's the same:

    this is what I got when I located above
    "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Stage 3 Music."

    someone doesn't play well with others and share...and would be stage 3....

  3. Oh, thanks, Kimy. Good to know. I suspect Aerosmith or their agents didn't approve the use of their song by Republicans claiming a victory by opposing the Recovery Plan. Just as Springsteen stopped Reagan's campaign from using "Born in the USA" in 1984 and other artists stopped McCain's campaign from misappropriating their songs.

  4. Update from The Huffington Post's Sam Stein and TPM (Talking Points Memo):
    "UPDATE: Aerosmith has asked the House GOP to stop using their song, "Back in the Saddle," TPM reports.

    The GOP's use of the tune "was something we, as the publishers, didn't approve and would not have approved without going to the writers," Connie Ashton, director of copyright and licensing at Stage Three, told me. "Aerosmith did not approve of its use and also wanted to have it taken down," she added.

    * * * * *
    More here:

  5. I tried to comment but something in blog land went awry. Is this true? Or is it your great commentary and wit?

    Very interesting indeed...bad PR indeed!

  6. Maybe something is awry in blogland, Colette. I left a comment about trains at mouse's lakewooddailysnap, but looked later and it wasn't there. But thanks for stopping by.

  7. Don I tried to leave a comment for the library post and everything disappeared! I love how you included the printing press! it was a world changing event. Set in motion the protestant revolution and helped pave the way for democracy and of course capitalism.

  8. Exactly, Colette. And the Internet will probably have equally revolutionary influences, liberating people worldwide -- in politics and in consciousness.